A New Freedom

During April (National Poetry Month) my local library was giving out envelopes of random words and the object was to arrange the words to create a poem. While poetry is not something I generally practice, this was a fun exercise and one in which I unexpectedly got to speak my truth. When I poured the contents of my envelope and flipped each sliver of paper over, one by one (as you do a new puzzle), it was hard not to believe this envelope was specifically made for me. After weeks of deliberation (with myself), I decided sharing this poem is a way that I can open the door to vulnerability a little wider. This was a topic I wasn’t quite sure I was ready to share on a public forum, however, it is a huge part of my story and I don’t feel I could fully express in future posts my journey to FREEDOM without being fully transparent.

NOTE: The bold words are from the contents of my envelope.

Looking in a drink

I found nothing concrete

Spiraling and broke

I finally awoke

Releasing my will

Was greater than a pill

This feeling is odd

A foundation in God

My hell is over

Today I am sober.

My recovery story is not one of sudden change, I didn’t become a Christian and immediately get sober and everything in my life was better. It has been a slow process, shifting one degree at a time. In fact, I became a Christian YEARS before I got sober, but it was definitely through my walk with Christ, that I was led to recovery. I also credit the 12 steps of recovery and the fellowship to laying out a path that I was able follow and it has helped me grow in my relationship with God and learn how to truly depend upon God. For me, my recovery and my faith are deeply intertwined; I don’t have one without the other. Without either of those, I am bound by addiction, imprisoned in my own personal hell. It is by the grace of God and the freedom I know today that I have been compelled to share my story through this blog.

If you are struggling with alcoholism or drug addiction, there is help. You are not alone. I know firsthand how isolating it can feel, but if you are willing to get honest with yourself and reach out for help. There are others out there waiting to give you a hand up. You can find my contact info on the “Holler!” page of my blog or there are hotlines and websites with a quick google search. I will also note, you do not have to be a Christian or even believe in any type of Higher Power to get started, I share my story as it is, but there are so many paths to recovery and a new freedom.

Keep moving forward.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

9th Step Promise

2 thoughts on “A New Freedom

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: